From Here On Out.

Why bother with mediation any more? When all it brings is distinct unhappiness, I may as well begin to ignore this horrible situation and do what feels right even when I know it's wrong. Yet this isn't a situation that brings no repercussions, quite the opposite in this case, a giant mess and shit storm of terrible things that will probably make this itching feeling pale in comparison. After all, digging yourself into a black hole of debt is never advisable, just preferable at this time in life.

When left with no other solution, this is the only thing that makes sense to me, either continue on with no money, or add to the damage I've already caused with the fee's handed out by those ghastly government types, claiming: 'We'll take you in! Teach you the final parts of your education and let you have a good time doing it!' When in reality even the ignorant knew to take the claims with a large pinch of salt, maybe even pepper too. Yet over a year and a half in, these feelings still eat away at the back of my mind, taking up valuable space that could go towards something worthwhile, even if I'm in no state to express what exactly.

Life itself is a wonderful thing filled with so many variables that it's possible to turn your entire life upside down in the very second I write this, and when you find yourself in a situation that you like, it sometimes becomes impossible to shift yourself from the normalities you've become comfortably accustomed too, with that said, I still have the complete ability to do whatever I want, I just choose not to with many of the worse things. Regardless of this, for the first time in as long as I can remember, I'm giving up on what that shriveled brain of mine says is the right answer, and going with the complete opposite, a dangerous opposite that could potentially have effects on my life for years to come, but who really cares about that now, if you continue on with enough money to live comfortably what does it matter? Money clearly being the keyword here, the thing that controls practically every persons life worldwide on this formerly-blue but now Black ball floating around space, why the change? Because we're all controlled by money, and that doesn't warrant a calming colour anymore.

Far from believing the 'Life with no material possessions' is a good idea, albeit admirable nonetheless, I'm left with that choice to plunge myself further into darkness, or continue on, penny less and miserable.

The choice is obvious, I'm going out in style.

Tragedy in the Land of the Rising Sun.

Everyone should already know what this is about, from the blanketing media coverage over the last twenty four hours, and if it hasn't crossed your radar by now stop reading this and instead, search the term 'Japan Earthquake'.

It's truly impossible to anticipate such an event, even with todays technology you can see it coming but fail to prepare for exactly what is about to take place. Yesterday morning, March 11th 2011, at around 11.30 GMT, I awoke as usual only to go online and find that a 7.7 Earthquake had struck Japan just off its coast, 'Jesus!' I thought, just over a month or so after the Christchurch decibel in New Zealand we've got another disaster on our hands, but that was before I began reading the article that the headline protruded from.

In my mind, there was absolutely no doubt of the devastation caused by this terrible incident, I quickly began to think back to the Haiti Earthquake last year that registered magnitude 7.0 and flattened an array of buildings taking over 316,000 lives. I knew for a fact this event may be bigger in magnitude, but with Japanese building regulations in a country prone to Earthquakes, it wouldn't be anywhere near the death toll of the Haiti Incident. So far most media outlets have been claiming the Death Toll may be around 1,300, the only problem now is that the town of Minamisanriku, a small town sitting on the coast, has 9,500 people that are unaccounted for. Seeing the pictures doesn't give me too much hope.

As I ventured down the page to read updates from the last 5 hours, the thing that hit me hardest was that it was now saying the quake was 8.8, possibly even 9.0, and the aftershocks were in the 7's and 6's. With the amount of time I've wasted reading up on Natural disasters, I knew straight away this was bigger than I'd ever seen before, nothing this big had happened in recent years.

What followed was hours of searching sources trying to find out exactly what was happening to the country, I watched waves crash across the landscape, washing away buildings like they were made from paper, engulfing rivers and overflowing out of them in seconds, only to continue on, marching forward, ripping apart everything ahead of it. The most shocking images came from watching the helicopter footage, witnessing cars trying to escape the coming assault, a black mass washing over everything filled with debris, debris that was in flames whilst the water carried it. To imagine what it must have been to see that mass coming towards you I'll never know, and despite my lack of any religious sentiment, God help them, because anyone there was out for their own live at that point, and it saddens me to think that they probably did get away with it this time.

Seeing the pictures of Japan this morning was equally as devastating as what the World witnessed yesterday. Some of the water had receded, leaving shards of houses, trees, cars and even boats pushed across the landscape in places you'd never find them in almost any other situation. The clean up effort will be gargantuan, and I wish I could be there helping, it would certainly make a difference to sitting here whilst witnessing and wishing that I could be there.

All we can wish for now is that the Fukushima Nuclear Plant does not add to this situation with a meltdown. Despite the building surrounding the Reactor exploding this morning, the reactor itself is yet to worsen as far as I've heard today, I can only hope for their sake it stays that way.

My wishes, condolences and hope go out to every single person in Japan right now. Good luck to all of you, you will pull through.