Squandered Fortunes Among Hope and Chance

Watching people have their dreams crushed is a funny thing, it gives a feeling that comes somewhere between amusement and complete tragedy, for me anyway. Apparently, the rest of the nation seems massively amused whilst watching people walk onto a stage only to be slammed down by a panel of talented people, and that's becoming more and more popular amongst almost everybody you see while walking down a street. It's never been an oddity that people are amused by freaks or others who they can easily look down on, quickly jump back a few decades and you can pay to stand in-front of midgets, people with disfigured bodies and bearded women, it wouldn't be surprising if it wasn't for society telling us it was wrong to do, that this would also still be normal for people to do.

Unfortunately it seems to be human nature to find someone or something weaker than you and then berate it, or watch and laugh as they fall apart, it's not new, just easier to see due to Media saturation. As much as I want to sit here and tell myself that it's okay, it isn't, it's disturbing, and I'm not going on a Crusade about how we're all evil and deserve to be judged for it, I just think it's going too far, even compared to decades ago when it was common place.

My main reason for writing this goes on from this point:

I can't understand how people let themselves fall into such average lives, working a Office job 9-5, Five days a week with an okay salary. How can you not want more than that? How can you not look at something else in the world and aspire to doing it? Being so complacent that you convince yourself that a life you never planned is now okay 'Just because' it pays for some stuff and keeps your family going. There's millions and millions of these people all over the world working in jobs that they never wanted, that they obviously never started out Adult life wanting to do, and it angers me to think that so many of them have dreams they never accomplished.

Sure, I'm not one to talk about forcing myself to do things to further my immediate position in life, half the time I seem to do the absolute opposite and try to make things go backwards, or in some alternate possibility which seems (so far) to have worked out. I'll take risks, I'll work hard on what I have to do, but I still don't have my future even half set out, I don't think most of the people my age do, I'm not even sure if you're supposed to when you're 20 but I sure remember being told I should know when leaving school at 16. Can you honestly look back to when you were that age and think that you would have actually made a trustworthy decision? I know well that I wouldn't have, if at that age you were forced by Law to make a decision that determined the rest of your life, the world would already be over, because 99% of people had no idea at all what they wanted out of life other than being happy and not dying a painful death, two things that are very related.

What does any of that moronic rambling even mean though? Probably that it's too late to be writing this kind of continuous thought and actually hoping that it makes the slightest bit of sense. Either way when the pin drops, I'll put all my money and effort behind whatever seems like the best idea at the time, I'll never live a blindly optimistic life but I'll damn sure do a better job at making sure I don't ever end up in a situation I'm only 'Okay' with. Everyone aims big at the start, why not, we were brought up thinking we could do whatever the hell we wanted, and we can do providing we try hard enough and more often than not, sink enough money into, but peoples self belief, effort and tolerance all fly straight out that giant window, and they settle for whatever they see first that suits the majority of their needs.

I'd rather be dead.

I swear to whoever I can that I would rather be dead that live such a meaningless and harmless life. No-one ever started out with the intention of being average, why do most finish their life in that category? I'll make something out of myself somehow that's for definite.