Born Into Life's Great Downfall.

By definition, people are bad, and even those with the kindest of intentions tend to be trying to prove something to someone, often themselves, if not always. That does not make them bad though, just means they have organised their life and mentality into a place throughout a number of years that enables them to be who they want to be, by which I mean the majority of the world is under the influence of their parents beliefs and values for far too long until it's finally realised that they have been doing it. There's no real way out of that though, the only other option is to rebel and argue every point your parents make, and that doesn't work because even if you're right ten percent of the time and that makes you feel validated in your decision to start doing E's and that time you stole your little sisters pocket money to move on to heavier stuff, the other ninety percent of the time you get shafted, badly.

Our primal instincts are to do whatever we can to further ourselves, whether that includes stealing, cheating or otherwise, this means that those little moments in some peoples, or most peoples lives where they manage to ruin something they care about, are caused by a mix of your original instincts and often a good amount of stupidity. There's no point pretending the majority of bad things in life aren't caused by people's own stupidity on some level, because there's plenty of causes for that too, and I would say it's okay but this thing we do now where we're proud of how ignorant we are, I've got to be honest, it's not working for me. Being proud of the fact you don't know something isn't acceptable, if you have trouble being called out and getting something wrong, so what? No one likes being proved wrong or shown up, but learn to accept the fact that you do, in fact, not know that fact. Learn from it and take it away with you, because I'm sure you'd remember it from then on, instead of blowing it off and ranting about how "you don't need to know that because it doesn't interest me!" Then don't talk about it, ever, if that's the attitude you have.

We spend all of our lives trying to impress others and confuse ourselves into thinking that we're not who others see, or worse, that you see in yourself. People waste their entire lives trying to change what they were born with instead of embracing whatever they already have and not being miserable for 99 out of one hundred years, because of that one perfect year at 28 where they had the right amount of plastic surgery to not look like a fish. I'm not preaching anything, I don't believe in anything, I don't believe in the self-help bullshit telling you to accept yourself or the over the top positive attitude that most have when telling others to accept their 'special gifts in life', I'm just sick of watching the World fall faster and faster into this pit of stupidity and self-hatred.

Most people just get by in life while convincing themselves it will get better for them one day, it probably won't, because you've never tried to further your squalid position, just had the belief that you should be handed it. Somewhere in time we started to lose our way, and it's been unraveling slowly ever since, it's not the end of the World by any means, melodrama bestows nothing, but we're definitely in worse shape than ever every single day we wake up.

Living on a Damned Hill in Flood Weather

This is the type of weather where you can't get anything done, you want to get out the house but not 10 steps down the street your clothes are soaked through and your shoes feel like you're walking in fish guts, another 10 steps and your skin will be so saturated you'll start to expand like a balloon beneath a tap. I say this, yet I don't need to be anywhere at all, which is nothing new, in fact it's become commonplace for me to have no real schedule, the only time anything interesting happens is on the only day in a 3 month period that I actually need to be doing something else, but for the rest of the country it's really ruining their week.

The city is as busy as sin, filled to the brim with people bustling about with presumably more agenda in one day than I plan to have for the rest of my year, considering how rude they're being to each other at any rate. Pushing and shoving, walking in to each other and acting as if the World owes them something, unless I'm sorely mistaken the only thing the majority are owed is back-taxes and a slap in the mouth, and unfortunately for them the back-taxes are debatable, whereas the slap is not.

The terror of a normal life approaches, out of the protective bubble of the British Education System and kicked into a world where there are no real guarantee's, many will be facing it in the coming months, but I only truly have to care for myself in this situation, keeping a close eye on what others do out of morbid curiosity using the many social spying tools we've been so easily been provided with, Facebook, I believe? You have to be careful not to spend all your time watching what other people are doing mind, and that's become a problem for many in this age, the fascination in other people's lives due to the ease of viewing it is causing more and more people not to really push themselves in any direction, just to watch what their friends do, even celebrities.

I have to further myself in some direction, I need to find something solid to focus on and move towards it, but with a ocean of news about minimal jobs for young people, and a landscape of optimism about infinite chance, I find myself to be caught dead center considering why anyone would set their mind to believe either/or. I'll carve my path whatever way I see fit and do almost anything to get where I want to be in life, but when you mix that attitude with uncertainty of what exactly you want, you end up with a Mexican standoff that has neither party back down, one is going to get hit, it's just a matter of time.